結婚式の準備について、親がどれだけ関与すべきかについて議論されています。昔は親が積極的に参加して子供のために準備をしていたが、現代では新郎新婦が主役となっている。しかし、親も無視するわけにはいかず、最低限のことは親子で話し合う必要がある。記事では結婚式までの基本的なスケジュールや親が関与すべきポイントを詳しく説明しており、親子でコミュニケーションを重視することがスムーズな準備の秘訣であると述べられている。
Should parents be involved in their children’s wedding to what extent? In my parents’ generation, the image of a wedding was that it was “a thing done for the parents”, so it was common for parents to actively participate in wedding preparations and make preparations for their children.。
In recent years, with the changing times, it has become more common for the bride and groom to be the main focus. However, is it okay to leave everything to the children? Parents cannot just sit back and watch silently, but by discussing at least the minimum with their children, they can have a wedding that is not disrespectful to the guests.
This article explains the basic schedule leading up to the wedding and points where parents should be involved.
What is the schedule like before the wedding?
Programs parents should attend
Smooth wedding preparation through frequent communication
Finally
What is the schedule like before the wedding?
After the congratulations and the meeting of the two families, many people may be beginning to prepare for the wedding. Nowadays, it is rare for parents to take the lead in wedding preparations. However, if parents have some information about the schedule before the wedding, they can imagine that the time to make decisions is approaching.。
There are individual differences, but it seems that many people start preparing about a year in advance.
[1 year ago]
Number of people, schedule, and location roughly decided.
[6 to 3 months in advance]
Official discussions about the wedding have started. Hold a reception, decide on the bride and groom’s outfits, and send out invitations.
[2 months in advance]
Prepare guest seating arrangements, arrange accommodation and transportation for guests, decide on gifts and attire for parents.
There used to be times when parents were required to attend meetings. In recent years, many meetings have been held between wedding planners and the bride and groom, and it is rare for parents to attend. If there are concerns as a parent, it is important to share information with the children in advance.
Programs parents should attend
At weddings, like the bride and groom, both sets of parents will be the emcees. While the bride and groom will mainly be involved in the preparations, parents will not be overlooked. It is important for parents and children to consult well to ensure that the guests can participate in the ceremony with peace of mind.
Here are five things that parents should share with the bride and groom.
1: Guest selection
It is recommended to have a rough idea of the number of guests from both families before deciding on the wedding venue. Some venues may not be able to accommodate the required number of people. If it is determined that the venue cannot accommodate the guests after it is chosen, you will have to start over. Estimate the number of guests before looking for a venue to save time and effort.
Regarding family guests in particular, it is best if parents take the lead. Even if the children think, “Only relatives are invited,” there may be unspoken rules among relatives. For example, there may be a situation where it is considered rude not to invite a cousin to the wedding they were invited to.。
Once the invitations are sent, it is best for both parents to contact relatives. If the children are close to their cousins, a natural connection between the children will also be established.
It is ideal to maintain balance between the families. For example, having a lot of family members on one side and few on the other, or having many friends on one side and many family members on the other can give an unbalanced impression. Choose guests that are as balanced as possible.
2: Choosing the venue
When choosing a venue, from the perspective of the bride and groom, the atmosphere of the venue and whether they can do what they want are often emphasized. While this is important, do not forget to consider whether the venue is suitable for the comfort of the guests.
Since parents have more detailed information about the relatives than the children, it is important to share information with them before deciding on the wedding venue. Especially in cases where “grandparents are elderly and have difficulty traveling to distant places, so the wedding will be held in the prefecture” or “there will be many young children in attendance”.
– Location/Access
– Facilities
This is a must check. It is a separate matter whether the bride and groom agree, but stating opinions from the parents’ point of view before deciding on the venue will make the process smoother.
3: Gifts
Recently, the method of “gift sharing,” where the form of the gift changes according to the number of gifts received, has been adopted by many people.
When it comes to gifts for relatives, it is advisable to get the support of both parents. For example, something that emphasizes only fashion may be appreciated by younger guests, but may not be suitable for older relatives. If parents provide objective advice, the children may also become aware of it.
Depending on the region, there may be rules including standard items in the area, or differences in the number of items. It is recommended to decide on the gift after understanding the customs of both families’ regions.
4: Prepare transportation
The transportation costs will be used as transportation expenses and remuneration for speakers and guests of honor. In some cases, there may be no need to pay for car fares, in which case nothing needs to be done. Normally, the bride and groom or both sets of parents will arrange accommodations and transportation expenses for guests from afar instead of paying for car fares.
If there are distant relatives attending, it is generally necessary to support the arrangements for transportation and accommodation. However, relatives often say, “It’s mutual, so we won’t charge a fee,” so if guests are made to feel uncomfortable due to the fee, it could have a negative impact on future relationships. When determining the fare amount, consider the relationship with the guests, and decide in consultation with your children.
5: Parents decide on attire
The attire that the parents wear at the wedding will be.
– The father is in the morning
– The mother is wearing fur sleeves or a dress
like this.
Depending on the bride and groom and the venue, it may be acceptable to wear casual clothing. In either case, it is safest to choose something not too flashy but elegant.
The most important thing about the parents’ wedding attire is to match the families’ classes. Children’s attire can be Western or Japanese clothing, but if one parent wears lower-class clothing, both parents may feel embarrassed. By sharing information about each other’s parents’ attire in advance with the children, you can coordinate accordingly.
Smooth wedding preparation through frequent communication
Unfortunately, conflicts between parents and children, or between families, can occur during what should be the enjoyable wedding preparation period. Issues arise for various reasons such as money or guests, but they often stem from a lack of communication between parents and children.。
When important matters are reported after the fact, parents may become frustrated. It is good to say, “Do as you like,” but if you say, “I want you to consult with me,” in advance, you may avoid trouble.
Finally
A wedding is an important event not only for the children but also for the parents. While the bride and groom are the main focus, it is important for parents to understand the points that need to be conveyed to their children and to help out when needed. To have a wedding without regrets, it is even more ideal to be able to report, communicate, and negotiate daily as a parent and child.
Supervised by/Top Wedding
Lyrics/Composition: Saori Yoshikawa (Kyoto Media Line)